GOP, screwing their sisters without birth control

I read a fantastic article today. It was about the tragedy of the healthcare reform bill turning into an abortion ban because Democrats – the ones who are supposedly supporting of a women’s right to choose – can be simply spineless.

But mostly it was about the difficulties in getting insurance providers to cover birth control – and how that managed to evade the bill as well.

Republicans won’t support birth control and, for some reason, Democrats are afraid to talk about it.

And that “reason” is what dumfounds me the most, and is the subject of this rant:

Republicans like to screw. Believe me, they do. Rednecks screw their sisters; male Senators screw other men in Michigan airport restrooms…  OK, OK… low blows aside, Republicans like sex at least as much as Democrats. Polls show that they do, and the same polls show that the majority of Americans believe in birth control.

Even Republican voters use birth control. (I mean, really, when you’re screwing your sister, you don’t really want to have babies…  OK, OK, never mind. Forget I said that. I’ll behave.)

So, why do Republicans fight birth control behind the scenes? Well, obviously, they’re beholden to the extreme religious right, and Republicans do well with them and don’t look too bad while they’re doing it as long as they’re pandering to them beneath the radar.

Of course, beneath the radar, rednecks are screwing their SISTERS too…

OK, OK, truth be told, I don’t think the word “redneck” applies to anyone in this day and age. I only use it as hyperbole to stir the pot and get people all worked up and hot and bothered. I find the term offensive, myself. And the many people I’ve known who’ve used the word to refer to themselves as a badge of honor are often more sophisticated than a lot of city folk I know. What I’m getting at here is that, even among those who make up the Republican base, people enjoy having sex for fun.

One night stands, casual sex, hook ups, and even married couples shagging on the living room carpet to make up for a bad day at work… SEX… as often and free as we choose, is, very much, a part of American culture. And condoms, diaphragms, the pill, and in all the other forms it takes, birth control allows us, as Americans, the wonderful freedom to have as much sex as we want, however we want, and with whom ever we want.

Everyone loves sex, has lots of sex, wants to have sex, and, to the ugly among us, aspires to have sex. But we don’t necessarily want to have babies as a result of all that rowdy, bed-spring bending, good ole’ American sex.

To most people, this is old news. Except, apparently, the Republican leadership.

So, yeah, Democrats SHOULD bring up the birth control issue. And most-importantly, they should bring it up NOW and make it a part of the health reform debate by insisting that, as part of health care reform, insurance companies cover contraception.

Force Republicans to oppose birth control.

Thus far, the Republicans have been able to frame their opposition to health insurance reform as somehow having to do with “socialism”, fiscal responsibility and killing grandma, among other intellectually-muddy political marketing gimmicks.

Yet, the Republican rank-and-file have bought these nonsense arguments to the extent that they’ve shown up in (albeit insignificant numbers) to protest health reform.

So let’s introduce birth control into the debate and let the Republican leaders try and oppose it. Can you imagine tea-bag-type protesters holding signs that say “Birth Control Isn’t Health Care!”

I’m a cynic, but even I can’t imagine that.

Let’s introduce the issue, and then paint the Republicans as being against birth control and see how that goes.

Inevitably, they’ll be against it. And, as far as public opinion is concerned… they’ll be screwed.

Let’s put the Republicans in a position where they’re telling America they can’t have sex for fun.

That’ll be fun.

They’ll look like fools. Again. And we’ll be that much closer to winning.